To Be Found on Youtube
by obsidians
Summary: If you're going to have drunken sex to piss of your boyfriend, broadcast it.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own FF7 or its characters and don't make a dime writing these stories.

Tifa was acutely embarrassed that she had actually done it, as in full on intercourse with Reno when they were both completely drunk and she started bitching about Cloud, Reno's drunken rant was "fuck him; no fuck me" and they had.

She couldn't blame him as he was trashed too and they had both woken up, now awkward at what they had done with four used condoms floating in her toilet as proof. Not that Reno hadn't wanted her but had marked her as not interested years before and had he slunk off as soon as he could with a mumbled goodbye.

However he couldn't avoid her forever and found her on his actual doorstep and not the cheap crash pad he rented just to score so none of the rejected woman could find his real home.

She stood up "I just want to speak to you. I accept my part in what happened and appreciate that you didn't tell anyone. I think it's best if we never speak of this" she suggested.

"But what about the youtube video?" he asked her.

"What youtube video?" she asked him, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"Come in yo, I keep a laptop here for emergencies" he said inviting her in

Tifa felt like sinking through the floor as she watched it unfold. Her drunken self was latched onto Reno as she swayed in his arms "Fuck you Cloud! I'm going to have sex with Reno, the guy you consider to be little more than a clown and a drunken buffoon! I'm going to fuck this idiot! Yes this moron you find annoying" she declared, pointing at him.

"Wait a minute…." Reno slurred at this with a frown.

"Oh shut up" Tifa slurred back. "You're getting fucked, go with it" she suggested.

"You sure about this?" as Vincent's voice came over the video.

"Yes, here are my panties; I took them off and now I'm going to fuck him" she declared as she pulled them down her thighs and pointed a Reno, nearly setting herself and Reno off balance and Vincent's PHS phone went dark as they were draped over it and Vincent's metal hand removed them and seemed to bring them into his face and an audible sniff was heard.

"I'm going to fuck this dolt right on this floor and you can't say anything about it, no matter what an idiot you think he is. You hear me; I'm going to fuck a man you find beyond contemptible! " Tifa insisted.

"If you're going to insult me…." Reno said with a frown and Tifa's latched onto his lips in a heated way and they both seemed sink to the floor.

"Oh this is what I call a show! This is so hot" Vincent panted with a moan in his voice as his PHS started jerking in time to him as the lovers swam in and out of view with Tifa taking the top in time to the herky jerky motion.

Tifa's eyes were the size of marbles as she looked at Reno.

"You seriously don't remember any of this? It's been on the most played list for a couple weeks" Reno explained the dumbstruck woman.

"At least Cloud hasn't seen this" she said in a dangerously calm voice.

"You emailed him the link right after Vincent posted it" Reno reminded her and he flinched as she shrieked.


	2. Chapter 2

Reno wasn't too shocked to find Tifa on his porch again.

"You wanna come in, yo?" he asked her without preamble.

"I don't think that's a good idea" she said with hesitation in her voice.

"I ain't going to rape you, that's not what I do. Unless you have that planned for me" he said as crudely as possible and she blushed and seemed to blanch at the same time.

"Fine" she said and walked into his house. She waiting while he cleared a place for her on a chair by moving a bunch of things out of the way and she ignored the open pizza box that had a couple wizen slices left and looked on in shock as he started eating one of them.

"Shouldn't you refrigerate those? You could get food poisoning" she said.

"Not with my metabolism; that that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. Now what can I do you for?" he said.

"Cloud isn't returning my PHS calls" she said.

"So what else is new?" he said, not caring that pizza sauce dripped onto his white shirt.

"I feel we need to keep a distance from each other. I mean what…..happened was a mistake. It cannot be repeated. I understand we both were drunk and….." she said with a blush.

"You jumped my ass?" he said pausing in his munching his disgusting snack. "Yet you sought me out at **my** place to tell me we can't see each other when we're not even really friend. Interesting" he observed.

"I wasn't myself, I was mad at Cloud. You must think I'm some kind of slut" Tifa said looking away.

"I think you like to fuck and haven't been getting any for a long from the blonde squirt. You forget: I've seen your sleeping arrangements. They hardly seem like the stuff dreams are made of. You act like you're brother and sister or something. You were mad that he didn't show up at your birthday and wanted to blow off some steam and get some revenge. I get it; I"m a big boy and not sobbing into my cups over it" Reno concluded.

"How dare you!" Tifa snapped.

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex, you certainly did. I only volunteered for the one time but you kept waking me up. Good thing I carry a lot of condoms with me" he said with a smirk.

"That was the alcohol and I was mad at him" she snapped.

"Come here" Reno said.

"Why?" she asked him.

"Sit on my lap and kiss me. I suspect you haven't been properly laid since you were in a backseat as a teenager. You need a man and I happen to be one. Just sit on my lap for a second and kiss me and if you feel nothing; you can leave unmolested" he said patting his lap and she reluctantly did.

Tifa cried out in another orgasm even more powerful than before as she tore furors into his back and gasped as she looked up at Reno with unfocused eyes. She barely recalled what happened after they kissed and now; she was naked on top of his couch and lying in a pile of his questionable laundry. His ponytail had come undone and he was equally as nude and panting erratically and sweating. "Holy fuck, you take a lot out of a guy. I think I shall wear permanent scars on my back from you" he said.

"How did this happen?" Tifa asked, covering herself with a ratty t-shirt.

"I gave you what you needed" he said with a causal logic that made her head reel.

"But I can't do this….Cloud" she said in a confused voice.

"Tifa, Pouty will come around. He always does, but I am offering an arrangement, I haven't had a release that strong for a while. I'm intrigued by you. I can give this to you whenever you want. I have staying power and you have untapped potential as a lover that begs to be explored...even if Vincent isn't watching. I can't offer you a wedding ring or anything like that but I can offer you explosive orgasms the likes of what you have never imagined. What we have done so far, I suspect is only scratching the surface and the tip of the iceberg when it comes to you" Reno said as he eased the t-shirt from her and began suckling on the spectacular breasts he had only imagined and playing with her body. Tifa rode him this time like their first time together and her orgasm had fireworks exploding behind her tightly closed eyelids.

"No one can know. I shall come to you only and I won't ever spend the night with you; I only sleep beside someone I care a great deal about" she said.

"Have it your way. I'm not committing, I have other ladies to satisfy" Reno agreed with a shrug. "Don't think I shall ever fall for you" he said. "Life taught me not to let anyone into your heart" he said.

"What is your history?" she asked him.

"That's classified. You should leave" Reno said, turning from her in a causal way.

"As if I would fall for you" Tifa snarled as she dressed and stormed out, but she was back the next night.

Weeks Later

"I swear there is something about your dick that sets off fireworks in me" Tifa said with a giggle as she got off her hands and knees with a satisfied sigh. She was basking in their secret affair and felt powerful in how intensely she effected him.

"Tifa, I'm not an idiot and I'm not stupid. I scored very high on my IQ tests and got top marks in all my TURK intelligence courses, I have a genius level IQ. I didn't get a lot of education growing up and lacked a lot of opportunities as I didn't have any parents. I know that my accent makes me sound unintelligent; but it's a part of who I am" Reno gushed in a rushed breath as he had been dying to for some time.

Tifa looked at him "I didn't think you were stupid. Cloud finds you kind of annoying. Does my opinion of your intelligence really matter to you?" she asked him.

"Of course not" he lied but he was disturbed that her opinion of him mattered a lot more than it should.

"So we're fine, yo" Tifa said facetiously as she dressed. "See you tomorrow" she said.

"I have plans with another woman" he lied again, realizing he had been with her every night since they had started.

Tifa felt like someone had punched her in the gut "I….see. Call me another night when you're free" she said and left with her head held high and not even giving him a kiss goodbye and he felt kind of hurt by this. He could only watch through the window as she marched off and wondered what was happening with him.

He got out his black book and started calling his neglected women to see if he could make his supposed plans legitimate and managed to score easily on that account and brushed of his moment of weakness as temporary insanity.


	3. Chapter 3

Reno actually did like Petronella "Pet" Patterson: she was a young mother of three and married.

She had wavy, waist length light brown hair that framed a pretty, intelligent face. She was smart and her normal corporate clothes failed to conceal a body made for sin, she ensued contacts and wore classic, black framed cat eye granny glasses and she liked to fuck Reno. She was happily married for the most part, but her husband was often out of town in his own quest to get ahead in business, leaving her with a lot of time on her hands and a nanny to help raise their kids. So she had no problem saying yes when he called her.

They met at a local diner that was way off the beaten path of the trendy locations her friends and colleagues would go. She talked of what was going on with her life regarding people he had never met and he forced himself to pay attention while he picked at his food. He, himself loved going to places like that with their homemade style food, with their grease stained menus with plastic covers half cracked and the daily specials penned onto neon paper and stuck to the walls.

But Reno felt like something was…..off.

"…And then everyone laughed in the meeting. I don't know how the picture of me in lingerie got into my PowerPoint report. My bad" she said with a laugh. "Reno you okay this evening? It's like you're not here" Pet said with a frown.

"I'm fine" he said as he shoved a bite of moist and tender meatloaf into his mouth and it tasted like ashes.

He didn't understand why he couldn't concentrate on what Pet was saying; she was normally a whimsical and intelligent conversationalist who loved to laugh at her own foibles. The setting was a place he frequented often and got razzed in a charming way by the owner; a grandmotherly sort of elderly woman who had kind of adopted him.

What was his problem? The setting pleasant and the woman intelligent and beautiful, he didn't even have to pretend he was interested in what Pet was saying, he normally was. She was just another horny woman wanting him to scratch an itch as many women had before her.

He wanted the same thing. So why couldn't he stop thinking of Tifa? Tifa he knew from experience liked little twenty four hour diners like this one and had loved it from the start when he introduced her to it. She got hungry after good sex and it was within walking distance from his place.

Tifa if she were in Pet's place would have ordered a salad and then eaten half of his meal while asking him probing questions about his past that she already knew were off limits. That person no longer existed. "What's your real first name?" she asked him after they had sex nearly every time. "I just want to know who I'm sleeping with. "Can you just give me your first name?"

"That's classified" was always his answer.

Why did she care? There was nothing positive about who he'd been. He had been born in the slums and lived in a cheap room in a rooming house with his parents with exposed, faulty wiring that they struggled to pay rent on to the slum lord.

The same wiring had caused that room to catch on fire and he had been rescued by a neighbour when his five year old self struggled to drag the corpses of his parents to safety; they had died of smoke inhalation long before fire had touched any of them. He was sleeping in the living room with the window open and them the windowless, tiny bedroom.

He had been sent to an orphanage and had been tricked up and forced to smile for each adoption day where he never was chosen to go into a happy family home. He smiled his brightest smile that became less so with each passing year as others were chosen and he just got older and more cynical.

He was then sent into the foster care system as a paycheque for whoever would take him. He looked young so pedos approached him for his pretty boy looks, they were all turned down. Or he was bullied for being thin and had his few meagre possessions stolen until he learned how to fight.

He finally ended up running away and joining a gang and had his cheeks proudly decorated with their logos and finally found another family. He eventually became their leader and made himself into a person that would do anything to maintain his position and ordered his men to do soul shattering things mete out punishments as they were needed; he learned to compartmentalize his brain so that he wouldn't go insane that he was responsible for these monstrous crimes; something that served him well in his career as a TURK.

As most villains, he was eventually captured and was forced to pay for his crimes and turned state evidence and accepted a deal to avoid the death penalty and went into the prison system. They kept on putting him in tougher and tougher security prisons but the agile and intelligent Fergus kept on escaping them. He was fast on his feet, had lightening quick reflexes and was double jointed; he could fight and was highly intelligent, if he hadn't had much of an education besides street smarts and the University of Hard Knocks. This caught someone's attention and someone finally came to visit him in prison.

Reno was suspicious when a Wutaian man in a sharp suit came to see him. "Whatcha want?" Reno drawled at him.

"I want to offer you a new job, a new life. Fergus McLeod would have to die but you can have any name you want and make use of your natural skills. You need training to focus your natural skills but you have raw potential as an agent of a select government group. I have a contract here, if you want to read it over….."Tseng said.

"Give me a pen" Reno said, barely glancing at it as his eyes widened at the salary mentioned.

"Don't you want to read it over?" Tseng asked him.

"For what you're offering financially, I would say you're looking for a murderer/legal assasin and I am one. I would rather this then rotting in here for the rest of my life" he said and signed it neatly on the dotted line; he was often praised for his penmanship.

Afterward the dinner, he took Pet back to his cheap score pad he pretended to live at, it had once been his home and he didn't want to take women back to the actual house he now owned so they might potentially snoop around. He was a highly private person. But yet with Tifa, she had been the only woman to spent time in first bed he'd bought brand new…he quashed that thought.

Pet was pretty and good in bed as he was himself was and the sex satisfying but it felt mechanical to him and made him feel hollow as he couldn't help but compare how explosively it felt to be with Tifa. "I have to get home. I promised the kids I would be there to tuck them in" Pet said getting up and dressing; she hadn't even bothered to take off her wedding ring.

Reno got out of bed and put on the bathrobe he kept there and silently watched her hurriedly dressed and imagined many nights like this as he grew older with different women scurrying off to rejoin their own lives and he had no one to go home to but an empty house. He wondered why this bothered him, it never had before.

He walked Pet to her car and was shocked when Tifa stepped out of the shadows as she drove off with a cheerful wave. "Did you have sex with her?" she demanded of him.

"Were you monitoring my apartment?" he asked her.

"No….maybe. Did you sleep with that woman?" she demanded.

"We're not monogamous, but it just so happens, I did. I told you I was going to" he said with a forced smirk at the look of disappointment in her eyes and felt guilty for some odd reason.

She looked up at him and felt sad in a way that disturbed her. "I can't be with someone who sleeps with other people. I'm sorry but we're through. It's just not in my nature" she and got on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek before walking away from him and felt like her eyes were burning.

"Tifa, I never said we were exclusive, we can work this out" he called after her but she didn't turn around. Had she, she would have seen he looked really troubled and it felt tight in his chest for some reason.


	4. Chapter 4

Reno, after Tifa had left him, had dug deep into black book and produced the most beautiful woman he had ever had sex with and had taken to squiring her about to places that Tifa frequented, a move that his only three close friends (his fellow TURKS) had the nerve to say to the highly dangerous man's face. That he was showing the maturity level of a fetus at his sour grapes/trying to make her jealous routine.

Amber Lee was a statuesque blond with haunting green eyes and a perfect face, she was a supermodel and was definitely the hottest female Reno had been with and was unfortunately; mind bogglingly stupid.

It was on one such afternoon that Reno had insisted yet again that they meet for lunch at Tifa's bar and missed the hopeful stare when he first walked in and then pained look down when Amber strutted in with her hips swaying as if she were always on the runway expecting looks of admiration…..and she got them from every male present. Tifa managed to bite back a remark as the other woman seated her plush buttocks on Reno's lap and claimed his lips in a searing kiss that had most males envious of the man and struggling to hide their erections. Tifa narrowed her lips and told herself it shouldn't matter, she had ended it with him and he could do what he wanted, but did not appreciate their garish display as if what Tifa and Reno had had had, she was nothing but another notch in his belt. Amber finally moved to the seat beside him and Tifa had to approach them for their orders.

"I'll have a hamburger without the bun, very dry and no toppings" she ordered. "How much cholesterol is in water?" she asked Tifa with a frown.

"None sweetie, she's such a kidder" Reno said with a sickly grin beamed at Tifa before he focused on her menu, "I'll have…." Reno said.

"The double chilli cheeseburger with onion rings and a house beer" Tifa said not even looking at him, not trusting herself to.

"How have you been?" he asked her, taking Amber's hand. "We're doing great" he told her.

"Good, better than good. Cloud asked me to that new French restaurant this Friday and suggested Barrett take Denzel for the night and he is. I'm closing the bar for the night" Tifa said in triumph and wondered why she was telling him. Why should he care?"

Reno felt like he had been punched in the gut upon hearing this. "Friday huh? What a coincidence; Amber and I have reservations for that night" Reno said as he struggled to think of a way get a last minute reservation to a new and extremely popular restaurant.

"We do? I must have forgotten" Amber said with a frown. "What type do they serve there: crinkle cut, straight cut or waffle cut?" she asked them.

"Pardon?" Tifa asked her in a mystified way.

"You said French restaurant" Amber said. "So what type of French fries do they serve? I guess it doesn't matter. I like them all. They are my guilty little secret" Amber said and pressed a kiss to Reno's frozen cheek as both he and Tifa stared at her. "I'm going to the little girl's room" she announced.

"I'm going to go get your orders ready" Tifa said and scurried away.

Reno stared after her and became aware of a red cloaked presence suddenly at his side. "Your new lady seems like a real keeper. Just think, if you combine both your good looks and add her intelligence; your children would not only be beautiful but the first kids in history to flunk kindergarten" Vincent observed and then was suddenly back in his seat before Reno had a chance to respond.

Reno stared across the restaurant to where Tifa wore a simple red dress and glanced at the door yet again. She had sat there alone for an hour now having refills of water and nibbling on rolls. He could see the humiliation painted on her face and longed to go to her. Finally she had ordered a bottle of wine and started drinking it by herself.

Reno and Amber sat a table where he ate some kind of shellfish dish he had ordered at random and Amber tucked into her generous portion of French fries. The chef had been insulted when she had ordered them and came right to their table to tell them he wasn't working the fry counter of a local fast food restaurant. However, he realized who she was and what publicity she could bring in and made the fries for her. He had winced when she said she would tell all her friends he made the best French fries in town when he came to check on them.

"Miss, you have to leave" a waiter finally whispered to the increasingly drunk Tifa when she left an angry message on her phone in a loud voice. "I have to wait for him" she insisted. It was now two hours past the time he was to have met her.

"I think you've had too much to drink. We'll call you a cab and don't worry about your wine order; it's on the house" the manager intervened.

"I have to wait for him" she insisted. "Don't you understand? He finally wants to see me" she slurred.

"Miss, please leave or we shall have to call authorities" he said to her in a discreet tone of voice.

Suddenly Reno was by her side. "That won't be necessary. I know her and shall take her home" he assured them. "Come on sweetheart" he said, helping her to her feet.

"Reno why isn't Cloud here? He said he would be here?" she sobbed to him and burst into tears and he pulled her against him and stroked her back while she sobbed.

"Weren't you on a date with me?" Amber asked him as she walked up to them, wondering if she forgot something and Tifa didn't even glance up as she clung to Reno.

Reno sighed and pressed his emergency contact number "How soon could you get here. I need you to take over as my date for Amber." he asked him after explaining the situation as briefly as possible.

"I was planning to read up on ancient Wutaian battle manoeuvres tonight but seeing how you're in a bind, I'll be there in fifteen minutes to take over as your date but you owe me one and tonight's on you" Tseng agreed with an evil grin. He normally liked his women intelligent but there was something about Amber that intrigued him and Reno was literally handing her over to him on a platter.

"Of course" Reno agreed and explained to the manager to keep Amber entertained until Tseng got there and led his weeping woman from the place.

Tseng was enjoying his time with Amber; he found her frank observations to be endearing.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" she suddenly asked him. "It's okay, a lot of people do."

"I find you have a certain je ne sais quoi about you. I mean mentally as well a physically and I could listen to you all night long" he said and as sincere.

"I **do** like croissants" she volunteered.

He just laughed, thoroughly entertained by her. "I know a place where they make the best double chocolate and almond croissants that's open late. I could pick some up for the morning if you care to come see my place. With your sense of style; perhaps you can give me pointers on interior decorating, particularly my bedroom?" he suggested.

"Sure, always happy to help" she said and he just chuckled as he put everything on Reno's company credit card to be removed from his next pay cheque and then revised the amount to include two bottles of rare champagne to go. Reno's first journey into deeper emotions cost him through the nose that night and Tseng had the time of his life. The first bottle was drunk to unwind and the second to celebrate their new relationship as they lay tangled in the sheets.

Reno was wondering what was going on with him as he felt compelled to look after the nearly catatonic Tifa as he gently fastened her seatbelt and tried to engaged her in conversation. He touched her with a tenderness he didn't know he was capable of as he took her inside and up to her bedroom. He froze when he flicked on the light to find empty dresser drawers pulled out and a half empty closet.

That woke Tifa up as she started shriek, "he took all of his stuff. Him asking me to the restaurant was just a decoy, he's left me" she sobbed and started wailing. Reno took charge of her and packed her a bag for staying overnight at his place, not wanting to leave her alone. It was him that called Barret and told him of the situation and when he could bring Denzel back in the morning when he took Tifa home. Barret thought Reno was joking at first but could hear Tifa's sobs from where she was balled up on Cloud's empty and former bed where the sheets had been removed.

Reno coaxed her into casual clothes and then led her into his place "You can stay in the guest bedroom" he assured her, not liking how she was barely responding to him in her shock.

"Can I sleep with you?" she asked him.

"But you said…..of course. I want to know that I care for you" he said before he could catch himself.

"Nice of you to say so" she said in a bitter voice but allowed him to tuck her into bed beside him and was soon asleep nestled against him, lulled by his body warmth and his familiar body scent soothed her. Reno stayed awake a while longer marvelling how Tifa who was so strong had turned to him in her grief and how she clung to him in her sleep. He held her, neither were naked, she wore one of his t-shirts that was practically like a dress on her and he wore his boxers and an undershirt but somehow, it was one of that best night's of his life.


	5. Chapter 5

Tifa awoke to the sound of drawers gently opening and closing, "Cloud?" she said with a frown and then remembered and dread seized her heart. "Hey it's okay, I've got you" Reno said as strong arms came around her and he held and gently stroked her hair.

"I don't know what to do now that he is…." She said has she clung to him.

"Gone" Reno bluntly said. Why not make a fresh start? You still have a growing orphan boy who needs you and a thriving business. However, is owning a bar what you want to do for the rest of your life?" Reno asked her.

This caused Tifa to pause; no one had ever asked her that question before. She had been assigned to that role to disguise that the bar was actually the home base of AVALANCE operations and it became her home and that of many of the other members who had nowhere else to go, like Cloud. It allowed her to house them both so he would remain close to her and she clung to that. She had never questioned that she would take over the new location once it was built and had clung to that role while the others had moved on and found their own niches in life, even Vincent, if only buried in shadows as he preferred to be.

"I always wanted to work with children as a doctor or nurse or even a teacher" she admitted.

"Those are realistic dreams. If you want, I can help you research your options and find out what you would need to do to become one of them. Your high school is toast buy I'm sure but your transcripts still exist online. You would need to get your GED or take the courses you missed until you graduate and go to University, but you have the smarts to pull it off. I know you do" he in encouragement and gave her a squeeze that made her give him a watery smile.

"You think so?" she asked him, she had thought about going back to school to at least finishinh High School, but had never had the courage or time to go through with it.

"I know so, nothing can hold you back from getting what you want in life but a motorcycle and roving potential husband" he said and hugged her when she looked sad again. "You'll be just fine. I'll come check on you when I get back" he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Back from where?" she asked him.

"I'm going on mission; I received my orders by text early this morning. I'll be gone for at least a month. I can't tell you where or anything like that" he said and she looked over to where he had packed his bags while she slept.

"Can I contact you?" she asked with her heart in her throat.

"I can't contact you directly, I texted Elena and she promised to pass on what information she can to you and pass on any messages you might have" he said. "Now get dressed, I'll take you have after breakfast. Barret is meeting us in half an hour to drop off Denzel so you won't be alone. I'll meet you downstairs" Reno said as he discreetly left allowing her time to shower and dress. She watched him leave noticing he was as neatly dressed in his uniform as much as he normally dressed in it and was freshly showered and shaven. She wondered why she had never really noticed how handsome he was in his own way despite his tattoos, goggles and unkempt look.

She came down to join him at the table and smiled and thanked him for the coffee he handed her she looked down at her plate. "Pizza?" she asked him.

"I'm not good at cooking and had this frozen" he explained and she just rolled her eyes, thanked him and dug in. It was an odd experience eating pizza as the sun rose over the TURK's surprisingly spacious home, but somehow felt right when dealing with the odd man as they celebrated their first morning spent together, Reno style that is.

Reno insisted on walking her inside and waiting for Barret to arrive.

Barret led Denzel inside who looked at Reno like he was half of a worm he had found in his apple upon first bite. "So you and The Stick?" Barret asked Tifa, who turned red and he noticed right away that Reno stepped forward in case she needed him for support. Was it possible the aloof man had developed feelings for Tifa? Barret wondered about this as Reno put a territorial arm around her.

"Barret….." Tifa began.

"I won't ask any questions. Who is in whose bed is none of my business….and neither is how they wound up there. Though I saw the video online, I just didn't know it was being continued. Just be careful; one redhead running around and causing havoc with the ladies is enough" he bluntly interrupted.

"You can't be with Tifa!" Denzel suddenly yelled at Reno.

"Denzel, behave yourself…" Tifa said.

"Barret said Reno's a slot" Denzel explained.

"I'm a what?" Reno asked him in a surprised voice, his eyebrows rising in confusion.

"A slot" he challenged. "You know, a man who can't keep his pants on" he snapped "Though you seem to be wearing them" he added and wondered why all three people cracked up.

"Tifa, can I talk to Denzel?" Reno asked her.

"Sure, you can use my office" Tifa suggested.

Reno took the angry boy there; he wasn't sure what to say to a child but knew how to talk to another orphan, who was unsure about what his life was going to be like from that point on with the changes in it.

"You can't marry her, I won't let you" he snapped as soon as Reno closed the door.

"Tifa is too smart to marry a Slot like me. But I do care for her a lot" Reno admitted out loud to his first person, he felt confused by how much he didn't want to leave her. "But she would never marry someone you didn't like. That person would have to earn your trust and get your permission before she allowed them anywhere near the two of you. You are family and that is too important to her to waste on someone unworthy of you both" Reno explained.

"You think so?" Denzel asked him with a frown.

"I know so. Tifa loves you as if you were her own son and would defend you in any way possible. You're lucky because she chose you, some orphans aren't so lucky. You will grow up knowing her love and Cloud's too" he promised him.

"But Cloud's gone because of you" Denzel said.

"I will admit that I did have something to do with that, but Cloud's always leaving, but will always come back to you because he loves you too. Even if Tifa and Cloud aren't together, they will always be there for you because you're family" Reno explained.

"Are you done being a slot?" Denzel asked him.

"Who knows? I have to go on mission and I get lonely" Reno admitted as he never had to anyone before again.

"I'll tell you what. I'll consider you as a suitor for Tifa, but you have to promise to keep your pants on from now on…..and you have to ask my permission first if you ever want to marry her" Denzel said with a frank wisdom that Reno was sure came from Barret being his co-parent.

"Consider them super glued on" he promised him and offered the young man his hand to shake and they both solemnly did. "Would you like to learn how to pilot a helicopter?" Reno asked him, breaking the mood.

"Sure" Denzel agreed.

Tifa smiled at their conversation, neither were aware she had heard the whole thing as she had been coming to ask if they both wanted something to drink. She darted away when the door opened and Reno came out to say his goodbyes and got dragged by Tifa into the kitchen to be kissed silly in a way that had his groin throbbing all the way to the airfield where he met Rude and they took off.

Elena was getting sick of being caught in the middle of lovesick couples, it was bad enough that Tseng had been hooked by a bimbo, but having to act as the go between for another couple was unthinkable.

"He says he's been thinking about that time in the park" Elena said and noticed how Tifa beamed at this. "Enjoying a little sex in dangerous places, were we?" Elena asked her.

"Of course not. We went for a walk and it started raining, so we huddled under a tree and kissed while he kept me warm by sharing his suit jacket with me" Tifa explained.

"That sounds…." Elena trailed off. "Why don't you just capture him?" she said in blunt way.

"Reno isn't the marriage sort" Tifa said.

"So do what women throughout the ages have done to capture their man" Elena said.

"I refuse to get pregnant on purpose in order to force a decision on him" Tifa snapped.

"No I meant slowly introduce him to domestic life and show him what he's been missing" Elena explained. "I can't supply with you real names or places but I'm going to tell you Reno's life story…." Elena said and did.

"That's so sad" Tifa said, wiping tears away for the orphan boy Reno had been.

"The statistics were against him, while ginger girls are cute and get adopted, few people want scrawny ginger boys. They slicked him up year after year on adoption day and he smiled his hopeful smile as he got older and his friends went to loving homes. But he never did, and then he went into the system. Now do you understand why he hates to dress formally and has problems committing after a lifetime of rejection? You obviously are fond of gingers as Denzel is one too and can be the mother to Reno that he lost. You don't have to do much, just care for him, feed him; tend to his needs, the same as you do for everyone else. What lonely bachelor can resist having a beautiful woman fuss over the….."Elena said and trailed off when Amber came striding in with a picnic basket in her hands. Her famous wavy hair was woven into a single braid and she wore a gingham dress that made her look wholesome and she had no makeup.

"Hi Tifa and Elena" she brightly said and beamed her famous smile at them that only Tifa returned while Elena glared back frostily at her.

"What is **she** doing here?" Elena asked the guards that accompanied her.

"She said she's Tseng's girlfriend" the one man explained.

"And you just let her in…?" Elena snarled

"What's going on here?" Tseng asked as he happened to have forgotten something in his office and was on his way to get it.

"Hey Honey Bunny" Amber said giving him a clinging kiss that had blushes flooding into his face like mercury rising in a thermometer.

"Amber, don't call me that" he hissed. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I would surprise you with a picnic in the park, I bought all your favourites; including those tiny pickles you like" she said juggling to the basket.

"He has an important meeting this morning" Elena snapped at the endearing woman.

"Which you can run" Tseng said, actually wanting to blow off work to spend time with his girlfriend. That was a first in his work history.

"But sir…."Elena protested.

"Go wash your hands" Amber said and he went to.

"The domestic thing _does_ seem to work" Tifa agreed to the seething Elena as the two lovers hurried off.

"As I was saying; it will take tentative steps getting him to the altar but it can be done" Elena said recovering. "You said you sold the bar. When is the closing date?" she asked her.

"Six months from now, Denzel and I have started looking at apartments in the neighbourhood so he can stay in his school" Tifa explained.

"When your boyfriend has that nice, spacious house that is practically begging for a family to fill it? He only bought it because he dreamed of living in a house. No, I think you need to move up the closing date. Reno certainly would offer you both a place to stay. But first you have to bait your traps. After a mission, Reno is beyond exhausted after so much physical activity that it takes him a week to recover. The first night he gets home, he heats up a microwave meal to eat and then crawls into bed. I think we can do better than that. Imagine his surprise coming home to a beautiful woman making him a home cooked meal, running him a warm bath with Epsom salts for his aching muscles, perhaps a massage and a bed made up with freshly laundered sheets" Elena explained.

"But that's something I would do for anyone I care about" Tifa said with a frown.

"Being alone most of his life, he would revel in that. That's just the first step, then you get into his world and you show him how nice it feels to come home to someone who cares for him. It's time you claim another orphan. Introduce him to the domestic life a little at a time until he can't imagine being without you. He has a house but not a home, that's where you come in. You can make it one" Elena encouraged her.

"But Denzel?" Tifa said.

"You can sleep in separate bedrooms until he gets comfortable with Reno. Reno being an orphan himself certainly knows you're a packaged deal and wouldn't dream of separating you two. Denzel will warm up to Reno, Reno's a big kid himself and they will be the best of friends in no time. You'll see. Here's the key to your new life if you will accept it" Elena said handing her a copy of the key to Reno's house.

Tifa looked at it and wondered, she had never used her feminine wiles to trap a man before and rarely thought of her looks, she was pretty she knew but had never learned to use them. It was like she was a girl and then she was a woman. She had missed out on the key points of learning to be with a man, she had never gone on a first date or shivered in a backseat being felt up for the first time. Cloud had been her first it was true, but it had been a brief encounter soon after he had healed enough emotionally to know who he was and he had called her Aerith at his climax. Something that had wounded Tifa to the core but she had ignored the slight and soldiered on in their tentative relationship.

Tifa had gone on a mission a few days later with Barret and got home to find twin beds replacing the double bed formally in their bedroom and had moved into the other bed without comment. She knew nothing about the art of seduction but she did know how to tend to those who were in pain and needed help mending. She took the shiny object and weighed it in her hand. To accept it meant that she and Cloud would never be. But had they ever really been, Tifa questioned herself? Reno was uncharted territory with a virgin heart that she could burrow into and stay there, and she made a decision.

"When is he back?" she asked the other woman, who just smiled.


End file.
